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Public Service Announcement
The Oxygen Network runs softcore pornography late at night. I was channel surfing last night and stopped when I saw nipples. I thought I was watching skinemax until I saw the "Oh!" logo in the corner of the screen.
You go girl!
Laugh until you plotz
From the Semi-Canonical list of rec.humor lists
But how much for a hand job and a trip to The Gap?
From Geek Boy Services
Here's the deal, you commit to spending seven hundred dollars of your money on clothes and shoes for yourself. You pay us three hundred dollars. We'll help you choose your look, find your scene, and develop your style. You'll have an insiders' view of this city, boosted self-confidence, and a great time with a girl you can question on the sly. Additional services include booking hair appointments and manicure services, and help with furniture shopping for your pad. Also offered: Massage, Web/email/shell services, Network Engineering and development. A holistic approach to getting set up in the city.
(Found at Weird Links.)
Bunch of damn freaks
The online forum as performance art.
Wonderful
Cool films.
(Found at Wacky Neighbor)
Useless but profound
Behold the graffiti robot!
(Found by an anonymous reader at gizmodo)
More from the folks in lab coats
This article about rebuilding nerves is very eggheady but shows that the scientists are working on more than hair regrowth and boner pills.
(Found by an anonymous reader. Thanks!)
Crazy People
Barbie and Ken as Arwen and Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings
From the customer reviews (in bold italic)
THIS IS REPULSIVE!!!
BARBIE ARAGORN AND ARWEN??????
i'd like to think that LOTR is serious enough to not have barbies made out of it!!!
support a good cause and dont buy this trash.
This had to have been authorized by the estate, so what good cause would we be supporting? The cause of some obese 45 year old virgin in his parent's basement? No thanks, I'll pass.
This is rather sad. Think about it. The Lord of the Rings epic is rated some of the best movies ever made and Mattel Co. had to go and make a mockery of it! Aragorn doll isn't that bad, but it isn't a twin to the character. Arwen is pure nonsense! It doesn't even look ANYTHING like Arwen. It looks like a brunette Barbie! I have seen many other barbies modeled after characters and I think that Mattel could have done a better job. What they did is just sad.
What is sad is that this person did not read the name of the dolls, which begins with "Barbie and Ken as..." I guess it is back to whacking it to the "Crazy" video for him.
I can just imagine the comments when Sam and Frodo Makin' Out dolls are released.
(Found by Mr. Hyde at Army of None)
To those whose takest my links without credit
I pray thou shalt be swallowed by a whale with excessively bad breath, O thou Amalekite dog!
From the Biblical Curse Generator.
(Also found by Mr. Hyde.)
Judy, Juuuudy, juuuuuuuuuudie
Cary Grant on Acid.
(Found at Wacky Neighbor.)
Not a genius
Man leaves photo of genitals on hotel vending machine
Police arrested a Van Buren man for indecent exposure after he left a photo of his genitals on a motel vending machine, police said.
Authorities believe Curtis Leo Dechaine, 40, left the photo taped to a drink machine at Motel 6, 1700 Fayetteville Road, on Jan. 8.
"It was in a public area where anyone staying at the motel could have come in and found it," Grill said.
The photo had Dechaine's cell phone number on it, so an undercover police officer called him and set up an appointment.
Perhaps he should have simply worn this T-Shirt:
I have been to Fort Smith, Arkansas and what is so sad about this is that just over the river in Oklahoma are about a dozen stores with big neon XXX signs on them. You would think if he was looking for some action, he would have better luck there.
(Article found at The Obscure Store and Reading Room.)
Why God Made the Intarweb
Hey Ya - Charlie Brown is a f---ing brilliant Quicktime movie using scenes from "A Charlie Brown Christmas" as the video for Outkast's "Hey Ya".
(Found at metafilter)
You really shouldn't park there
This is what is supposed to happen when an asshole parks in a red zone.
I am glad someone was there to document the whole thing.
Right
Six-Pack Cooler Tube
Made of the same material found in wet suits, this easy-to-carry six-pack holder keeps beverages cold for hours without heavy linings or bulky ice packs. Less cumbersome than its square counterparts, the holder's neoprene construction won't split or rip like cheaper plastic models. The adjustable nylon strap and even weight distribution ensure an easy and comfortable fit when you carry the tube to your favorite outdoor venue. Made with reinforced seams and a heavy duty zipper.
Wrong
Hammecher Schlemmer is selling a Microwave Flower Press with this copy:
Pressing flowers normally requires weeks, but this easy-to-use device dries and presses flowers in minutes using a standard microwave oven
Maybe there is someone with a need for pressed flowers, NOW!!!! But that is not the point of pressing flowers. It is the act of picking the right flower, finding a good book to place it in and, if you are lucky, forgetting about it. Then, years later, opening the book and seeing a prefectly preserved flower.
Then again, I just might be a big pussy...
Very Funny
A recently discovered lost work of Edvard Munch.
Enthused
Just in case you have only heard the "Yeeeeagh" sound bites on the news, you may have missed that Howard Dean gave a little speech before it.
"If you would have told us a year ago we would come in third in Iowa, we would have taken anything for that...Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaah!"
Actually a very good speech considering that everyone in the room felt like they were kicked straight in the stones.
Now that we have that out of the way, dozens of enterprising people have remixed portions of the Dean speech into some hilarious songs.
Dean goes Nuts - the remix
The welcome to the jungle one is amazing.
He should totally play that at the beginning of every rally.
And he should never do that stupid bus in the rally trick again.
(Found at metafilter)
My desk suddenly seems tidy
Do you have a messy house? Get a reality check at Squalor Survivors. If your house looks like any of these pictures, seek professional help.
(Found by an anonymous reader at metafilter)
Atom Enabled
This site is now atom enabled.
If you have one of those new fangled news feed aggregator programs, you can add my atom feed to it.
Whoa
Twenty~ Red Line ~Hot Wheels Cars
All of these cars have the "red line" tires. They are dated from the 60's and 70's. All wheels intact. Played with condition with various amounts of paint loss.
I will swear to you that I used to own all of these cars as a kid. I might have to check with my Mom to see if she donated anything to Goodwill lately!
Support a great cause and help find these cars a good home.
Hello Ladies
In the early to mid-1980's, the city of Houston was blessed by the most incredible real estate promoter the city has ever seen... the legendary Michael A. Pollack! Millions of Houstonians thrilled to the site of Michael plugging his famous Colonial House apartments, located in "beautiful southwest Houston." Pollack was a man of both style and taste. Costumed in heavy gold chains, a "Bo Duke" hairdo, and an eternally tanned face, Pollack brought a new level of style and sophistication to Houston. And, as he was quick to point out, a new lifestyle!
Witty
Taken from the Law and Order Coloring Book. The rest of the site, Law and Order: Artistic Intent, is great as well.
(Found at memepool)
Brains
Flummel says Brain Explorer is a great way to learn all about the human brain. It was commissioned by the Lundbeck Institute in Denmark and lists as their goals: to achieve consensus in an international forum on how to improve diagnosis, treatment and compliance in CNS [Central Nervous System] diseases; to develop practical and supportive educational elements for health care providers within CNS; to build and maintain partnership and network with specialists within CNS" Considering that the brain is a pretty important part of the CNS, it makes sense that they would feature this big chunk of grey matter. "Brain Explorer" is a pretty comprehensive lesson in brain chemistry, anatomy, disorders, and definitions. Put on your thinking cap and go in for a visit!
Promoting greater occlupanid awareness
The Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group presents Taxonomic Data of the Breadties of the World.
This Site contains several years of research in the classification of breadties. For those of you who don't eat bread, breadties do not form an important part of your life. For the rest of the world, These small objects are everywhere, dotting supermarket aisles and sidewalks with an impressive array of form and color. Misunderstood and under-researched, the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group has taken on the mantle of classifying this most common, yet most puzzling, member of phylum Plasticae.
A
Alphabet Book by Paul Lansky is an amazing CD. According to the artist, "The inspiration came from the TV show, Sesame Street, where the celebration of letters and numbers, those atoms of daily life, is often clothed in lively musical garb." It is Sesame Street by way of Laurie Anderson.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
From the The Top 100 Things I'd Do if I Ever Became An Evil Overlord list.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
(A net classic)
I really want to see this
See the trailer
According to the IMDB, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is set in New York City circa 1939, the film centers on a reporter who notices that the world's scientists are disappearing. Teamed with a skilled pilot and an adventurous colleague, it's up to her to thwart the plans of a mad scientist bent on world domination.
(Found at tastes like burning...)
..<...A.....
I think an "I've Got Pac-Man Fever" shirt would do the job.
Never had it
Visit the official site to catch Pac Man Fever
(From a one-hit wonder discussion at metafilter)
A Frickin Laser Beam
Need a Death Ray, Atomic Blaster, or New Combat Robot? Brotron can help.
(Link courtesy of Mr. Hyde.)
Total Crap
A long, long time ago...
"American Pie" reached #1 in the US in 1972, but the album containing it was released in 1971. Buddy Holly died in 1959.
I can still remember how
That music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make those people dance,
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
One of early rock and roll's functions was to provide dance music for various social events.
From The annotated American Pie.
I can't believe anyone went to the trouble to do this, but it is your duty to read it and laugh. and point. You must point while you are laughing.
When you are too Druck to Funk
Autopilots provides chauffeurs who arrive within 3O minutes on a folding scooter. The scooter is put in a keep-clean bag, and is placed in the trunk of your car. The chauffeur then takes you safely home in your car. Upon arrival you can pay the chauffeurs either in cash or by bank/credit card. By using Autopilots you can party without worrying about how to get home safely, and the the risk of accidents or DWI's is eliminated. What makes Autopilots unique is that you wake up the next morning with your car at home.
(Heard on NPR's Day to Day Scroll down to the Unger Report.)
Very Good
Recursive animated GIFs by a brilliant contributor to b3ta.
Pie
If you send me an email, I will send you the recipe that is on the back of the card.
Abandoned
Wallpack Center, New Jersey
I had heard about a town in northwestern NJ that was abandoned by its residents. A hydroelectric dam construction project was going to result in a submerged town. The project was the ill-conceived Tocks Island Dam. The government had bought up the property that the dam would have flooded. Wallpack Center was at ground zero. Of course the residents were asked to leave and they did. The dam project was scuttled because of environmental concerns. The property owners however, were never allowed to return.
More interesting New Jersey towns at Not Just Anytown, USA.
The Explorer's Club has write ups of several abandoned and interesting places, including a trip to Wallpack Center.
A collection of 1300 pictures from 174 Ghost Towns and historic places.
Useful
What was that song on the radio? Pick your city, the station and the time and you'll get the title. They even help you buy the CD.
(Found in a comment by Paul Murray at Ask Metafilter.)
More art
beautifully crazy interactive flash thing. No instructions given, but you should be able to figure it out.
(Found by an anonymous reader at web zen)
Trippy
Sand/lightbox drawing
(Found at mookie)
Le Frappucino? Jamais!
An opinion about Starbucks in Paris.
Ipris, you might dig this one...
Speed Buggy 1973!
Speed Buggy 2004!
(Thanks again to faithful reader for the 2004 link.)
Healthy Humor
From The Onion:
What Medical Advice are We Ignoring?
14% Something about being contagious
21% No alcohol for next hour
25% Stop chewing on wound
12% Don't take all 30 pills at once
14% Leave cone around neck for two weeks
13% Anything that contradicts God's grand plan for us to die of dysentery
New favorite site
Incoming Signals recently linked to a post of mine and I am amazed at all the great links there. And, to top it off, there was a link concerning Richard Stark, one of the best hard crime authors out there.
Apparently, the kids like these
Apple 10 GB iPod (Mac/Win) on closeout at amazon.com for $236.54 with free shipping. Just add it to your cart to see the low price.
I use Paint Shop Pro for my photoshopping
From the Adobe Photoshop Trademark guidelines site:
Trademarks are not verbs.
CORRECT: The image was enhanced using Adobe® Photoshop® software.
INCORRECT: The image was photoshopped.
Trademarks are not nouns.
CORRECT: The image pokes fun at the Senator.
INCORRECT: The photoshop pokes fun at the Senator.
Always capitalize and use trademarks in their correct form.
CORRECT: The image was enhanced with Adobe® Photoshop® Elements software.
INCORRECT: The image was photoshopped.
INCORRECT: The image was Photoshopped.
INCORRECT: The image was Adobe® Photoshopped.
Trademarks must never be used as slang terms.
CORRECT: Those who use Adobe® Photoshop® software to manipulate images as a hobby see their work as an art form.
INCORRECT: A photoshopper sees his hobby as an art form.
INCORRECT: My hobby is photoshopping.
(via memepool)
Truckin'
IdleAire -- A Practical Alternative to Diesel Idling
IdleAire Technologies Corporation provides a quiet, clean, cost-effective alternative to the extended idling of diesel trucks wherever they congregate.
A tractor trailer's cab is connected by duct to an IdleAire overhead climate control/electrical supply device at a Bronx market. Access is $1.25 an hour, cheaper and cleaner than burning diesel fuel while idling. Anti-pollution rules spawned the devices; a South Jersey truck stop is expected to get a terminal this spring. More.
(found at metafilter)
Nostalgia
Old Time Radio Shows on CD.
For $5 a CD, you can get dozens of episodes of classic radio comedies, dramas, mysteries and more.
I see some X Minus One in my future.
A drugged child puppet
I don't read dutch, so I don't know the purpose of these puppets, but this drugged child puppet is going for 435 euros.
Thanks again, faithful reader. If you have a link you would like to see posted, send me an email at blindingnervepain@operamail.com
Something that may work for you
Recently, the sciatica has really been acting up. All I can do is lay around and moan. I dug out my copy of the Trigger Point Therapy Workbook and read the section about the various gluteal muscles and noticed I had a couple of the trigger points. After applying pressure to those areas (which hurts like a *&^@$$!!*) my leg pain was greatly reduced. If you are having any sort of chronic pain and are looking for another avenue of relief, this is $13 well spent ($9.99 used).
calm down, you're going to give yourself skin failure
Woman's Skin Falls Off, Miraculously Survives
Tragic story, but I couldn't resist...
Kick Ass
Someone really liked the movie Mannequin
Thanks to a faithful reader, I now can share this monstrosity with you.
This android will look like a woman. Why? Because a woman is less threatening than a full-sized adult male. - from the AndroidWorld site.
What Valerie will be able to do:
- Muscle movements equal to a person.
- Understand spoken commands (in several languages)
- Speak to you in English (or several other languages)
- Remember previous conversations with you.
- Remember a daily list of chores to be done.
- Perform household chores such as:
- Cleaning
- Clearing the table
- Changing light bulbs
- Doing laundry
- Dusting
- Lift and carry things up to 50 pounds
- Picking up things
- Putting things away
- Painting
- Setting the table
- Sweeping
- Washing dishes
- Vaccuuming
- Access the internet to do such things as:
- Check stock prices
- Check sports scores
- Find information for you
- Book plane tickets for you
- Find addresses or phone numbers
- Find directions
- Call police in an emergency.
- Call the fire department in case of fire.
- Dress or undress herself.
- Have a sense of touch all over like people do.
What Valerie will NOT be able to do:
- Eat or drink
- Breathe
- Perform other bodily functions.
- Hurt people (Asimov's first law)
- Have sex.
- Put her head under water.
- Take any water or other liquids into her head or mouth.
- Drive a car (because she can't go outside).
- Run a lawn mower (because she can't go outside).
- Physical actions which people cannot do.
- Sleep
A visit to last March
Fall into the gap
Nice piece on boomers vs. gen x.
They also have bunnies.
ATM Scams
The $2.00 you pay when you withdraw money is not the only way you lose money using an ATM.
Over at Brainlog, there is a link explaining the Lebanese Loop and how it is used to take your cash.
I also checked on Snopes and they say it is true and offer detailed explanations of how a little plastic sleeve in the card slot is all that is needed to rip you off.
This has happened before
Atrios has posted a column by Art Buchwald from 1963 describing how the Soviets used our right-wing to nearly topple our government.
Several comments on the thread speak of The Manchurian Candidate and this one keeps making me pass out laughing:
You folks do remember Angela Lansbury saying, "we'll be swept into office with powers that will make martial law look like anarchy."
I'll bet back in some movie theatre in 1962, young Karl Rove had his first orgasm.
My custard is weeping
Foods that do not freeze well
More about the freezing of food.
Fo Swizzle
Swizzle Sticks
(from the Beverages Section of Grow A Brain)
I am waiting for The Charmings DVD Box Set
In reference to my post on 1/3, Brian Kane Online points out that all is not lost when a TV series is cancelled.
Poop Shoot
Bullet Toilet Seat
Sturdy clear, smooth acrylic with genuine brass rifle cartridges set in. Seat and lid are fully functional, with all Chrome fittings, ready to install.
It's all an illusion
Become A True Christian™
Hey kids! If your Mom and Dad didn't buy you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! If you've never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 2!
(via fark)
Fast
The Keio Advanced Zero-Emission Vehicle can go 311kph. Grow a brain also pointed out a more in depth view of this electric car.
I think this car may be able to give it a challenge. See a full list of badly modifed cars.
Kancelled
I finally start watching TV again, and they cancel or put on hiatus several of the shows I started to enjoy.
LA Dragnet, a perfectly servicable Law & Order clone, and Wanda at Large have been axed. The Mullets and The Shield are on vacation.
Oh, well. The Tivo somehow manages to stay full.
See the list of shows gone this season and last.
Chicks Dig It
The Balltrimmer is an ideal grooming tool for reaching sensitive areas. The Balltrimmer is safe and effective and offers a better alternative to scissors or razors. It's ideal for first time groomers as well as those who are more experienced at the process. Trim as little or as much as you want, whether it is just a touch up or a smooth shave, the Balltrimmer won't nick, cut or chaff sensitive areas.
(via West Virginia Surf Report)
A bunch of small things for the new year
Photos from the 1997 Redneck Games
Really, really disgusting Family Circus cartoons with new captions. Totally Not Safe for Work. This will damage your psyche forever. Luckily, mine was already shot. Save 'em while you can.
Play Across The Continent!
A quiz for people who know everything.
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i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton
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