Are you ready?
(From Joe 6 Pack's Elegant Blog)
For more humor inspired by our government, check out these ready.gov parodies
(From bifrucated rivets)
Production Designed to Distract You From the Failing Economy
Mad Magazine does not seem to have lost its golden touch. Click the image for the full poster.
I am also big enough to admit when they point out one of my own foibles. From their feature How to tell if you are a whack-job NASCAR fanatic:
I will now make my wife very happy and promise to stop doing that.
There is a God
Forget what you know about first person shooters. Walk a week in the Postal Dude�s shoes. Freely explore full 3-D open ended environments. Interact with over 100 unique NPC's including Gary Coleman, marching bands, dogs, cats and elephants, protesters, policemen and civilians, with or without weapons. POSTAL 2 is all about choice; experiment with everyone and everything.
And remember ...it's only as violent as you are!
That's right, they made a sequel to Postal. I am so happy.
Coming this April.
Ephemera Now has scanned in dozens of ads from fifties magazines.
An Albanian man smokes a cigarette as his wife carries hay alongside the national road in near Elbasan, near the capital of Tirana February 24, 2003. In rural Albania, tradition dictates that women to do all the house chores with men never helping as this is seen to be a sign of weakness.
The Musuem of Bad Art is a great tribute to those artists who have graduated from paint-by-numbers and blissfully draw outside the lines ignorant of their own total lack of talent.
Dozens of amazing photos to use as desktop wallpaper
Two great tastes that go great together
Game Theory and NASCAR
Traffic Light Wars - Select Episode 23 for a 60 second version of The Matrix.
(via Diminished Responsibility)
Quality Adult Entertainment
Are you missing the Plate Block of the Amy Fisher Commemorative?
Crank Dot Net is devoted to presenting Web sites by and about cranks, crankism, crankishness, and crankosity. All cranks, all the time.
Again with the slut thing
Sorority Slut Tipper
9 of 11
How smart are you?
Pretend you are Ken Lay
Put the President in your pocket.
Stupid Computer Tricks
Some people should not have computers
Everything is collectable
Insulator Photo Album
Eyes Wide Open
These things are freaking me out
Totally Not Safe for Work
How to be a Small Town Slut
Based on what I saw on Cribs tonight, Missy Elliott has too much goddamned money.
You'll get further with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.
(via bifrucated rivets)
This is an ex-negro
What is Piercing Mildred?
Borne of the 90s' two favorite pastimes - Body Modification and the Internet - Piercing Mildred offers you the chance to exact body modifications such as exotic tattoos, piercings and scarification without all the muss and fuss. And while you're at it, you'll compete head-to-head against other piercing freaks from around the globe.
Buy one today!
The Alera Technologies DVD/CD Shredder is a tool for destroying the data layers of a DVD or CD so that the information cannot be used preventing the loss or theft or your valuable data.
That Colmes guy is freaky looking
I spent a lot of time this weekend reading the latest Acid Logic. The "All Politics" issue covers Fox News, Bush's penis size and has an interesting, if rambling, discussion of the most bad ass redneck on the planet, Fred Thompson.
If you are not so into the political scene, My So-called Penis is a hilarious view into the mind of a man who has obviously misplaced his medication.
More Propaganda Poster Parodies
Those Modern Drunkard guys also have a brilliant gallery of WWII poster parodies.
Modern Drunkard Motivational posters.
As good as, if not better than, the demotivator posters at despair.com
I really hate the real posters these are based on. I cannot stand the shiny happy people that buy this crap and insist on putting them up in the hallways and meeting rooms at work. I wish I had the stones to buy one of the funny ones and replace the picture of those fucking skydivers.
I want to be one of the first to welcome my new overlords.
More subversion for ya
Some unamerican folks have recut the State of the Union address.
I have sent you a comprehensive plan to devastate communities, kill wildlife and burn away millions of acres of treasured forests.
Trusting in the sanity and restraint of the United States is not a strategy and it is not an option.
America's purpose is more than to follow a process, it is to acheive a result. The end of the civilized world.
Listen to bushwacked (mp3) or watch the quicktime video.
Nothing but the best of trailer park domestic disputes
Tonight on FOX, COPS is having a Valentine's Day special.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
Welcome to The Pile 'O Smeg. The Red Dwarf Link Page that makes other link pages go for a spare head replacement and never come back.
If you are in need of a Red Dwarf fix fast, the BBC has a random quote at the ready.
Red Dwarf DVD's are being released at the end of this month! Pre-order now!
Red Dwarf - Series 1 DVD
Red Dwarf - Series 2 DVD
Do you long to put a tube of deep fried meat in your mouth?
Don't have much money?
What the hell is that?
Do you know what that symbol means? These guys know.
Stirring up more shit
Never heard of Rod Cobb before, but he is a hell of a cartoonist. Courtesy of our friends at anarchosyndicalism.org.
One of the first disgruntled postal workers
I like it
While I do not agree with his stance on Punch Drunk Love, the rest of Sizemore is great.
I am suggesting that you visit it often.
I've got mail
A reader, Jen, sent me two more fantasy racing links:
budnascar.com - where you pick the top 15 finishing order of each race and millerlitevrl.com, which is a more intense team owner simulation.
Thanks, I just signed up for both.
marshmallow treat related links
Oh Lord, Why did I pick Todd Bodine?
The NASCAR season has finally begun and I could not be happier about it. I have found, though, that watching hours of Speed Channel, watching practice and qualifying, paying close attention to the Truck and Busch series and even finding the 1986 First Union 400 from North Wilkesboro on ESPN Classic was not enough. I still needed more.
I have signed up for the free fantasy racing from Yahoo Sports, The Sporting News and ThatsRacin.com.
If you are similarly afflicted and have a team of your own or know of any other free fantasy leagues, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org, maybe we can put our teams in the same division.
Also works on doorknobs and motorcycles
Feeling violated by the government? Is your employer giving you the "Joan Collins Special"?
Well, we can't make the screwing stop, but maybe we can help ease the pain.
Seems not everyone likes Bush and SUVs
Read what a bitchin' chick on her cell says about her new H2.
More rousing of the rabble at Camp-Xray - Where Constitutional and Civil Rights go to die.
If everyone could launch a preemptive strike.
(From Free Pie)
I love HI Q
John H. Conway, probably best known as the creator of the Game of Life, is responsible for a number of key results that have contributed to important advances in the field of Combinatoric Game Theory over the last decades. In this presentation, he discusses a number of these theories, and shows how they enable adults to excel at well-known children games, such as HARE-AND-HOUNDS, DOTS-AND-BOXES, PEG SOLITAIRE/HI Q, SPROUTS, etc. From the Game Developers Conference 2002.
Watch the video or listen to the MP3 stream.
I quoted the text from the ddj site, but I added the links. I was a big fan of HI Q as a kid and I played the other games, just under different names. I had no idea that there was so much intellectual mumbo jumbo behind some pegs and some dots.
Why do people with really bad teeth insist on walking around with their mouths hanging open?
I ask this because I have seen a number of people today that would make British people say "I say, you have some messed up teeth."
I would like to suggest that if you have several missing teeth up front, teeth that go in opposing directions or are arranged shark-like in multiple rows, please keep your mouth shut. At least cover it up with your hand or something. Have some respect for the rest of us who just ate.
(Site found at diminished responsibility)
That would look great in my living room
Used Race Tire from Jeff Gordon's Car.
I have no idea which is more insane, that they sell these or that I really, really want one! These things are $375 each new. A bargain at only $30.
If you have a lot of extra cash lying around, you could buy a Terry Labonte body from 1999 for only $7,500.
Adding value through proactivity
The Adventures of Action Item
I laughed, I cried. This is so spot on. If you work in the white collar world and don't laugh, you are one of these boobs.
(stolen from birfucated rivets)
This should keep you busy
KINETIC CULTURE, EVERYDAY DAMAGE, WORTHWHILE CAUSES & ASSORTED STRANGENESS
Wanna see something really scary?
Losman's Lair of Horror has reviews for every horror movie ever made. Not just the Frankenstein or Scream variety, but the really sick shit. Videodrome, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Begotten, Welcome to the Dollhouse and my least favorite movie of all time, Doom Generation.
I am going to have nightmares just thinking about some of what I read there.
No crossword, either.
Tvpicks.net will tell you if there is anything good on tonight without having to slog through all of the crap in the TV Guide. As an added bonus, she usually has a cool quote from Homicide or Buffy at the bottom.
Seven people died this morning over Texas. There is already so much wailing and gnashing of teeth and making of little 'In Memoriam' gifs and people remembering where they were when they heard the news that I felt some perspective was needed.
18 Die As Bomb Destroys Bridge
At least 30 people die in train crash
Ah, but those were all brown people far away, so I guess we won't cry over them.
How about we get a little closer to home.
114 people died yesterday in Car Accidents
216 people died yesterday from Hospital acquired infections
Guns and AIDS also take a chunk of us every day.
My point? Other than this being a big explosion you can see on TV, this is no different from all of those other people who die today. Whether they have their heads halfway through a windshield, a sucking chest wound from a stray bullet or are spread across Palestine, Texas, some humans died and we should show them the respect they deserve for attaining that state. Nothing more.
And a lot of those that are crying about this don't even support the space program.
One more thing, they were not HEROES. This is the story of a hero.
Please let me backup my DVD's
DVD rot and more DVD rot.
(both links from the comments section of this article on slashdot)
i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton