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Free Coffee!
Barnes and Noble has a coupon offering "buy one get one free frappuccino" in their cafe.
Required Reading
If you do any sort of writing, The Elements of Style is a necessary reference.
Bartleby.com is a great site with thousands of free reference books, verse, public domain fiction and more non-fiction than you can shake a stick at at which you can shake a stick.
The Harvard Classics & Shelf of Fiction is simply amazing and it is all online for free!
Pointless Nostalgia
This is a 1964 Hanna-Barbera Production �Give-A-Show Projector.� This includes 112 color slides giving 16 shows of TV favorites. Each show is complete on a strip of seven 35 MM Color Slides. Shows include: Popeye, Dick Tracy, Mr. Magoo, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Clyde Crashcup, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Bozo the Clown, Fury, Mr. Ed, Mighty Mouse, Three Stooges, Captain Kangaroo, Lassie, Dennis the Menace, Huckleberry Hound and Yogi Bear.
There is currently a fierce bidding war for this over at shopgoodwill.com. Relive your (or your parents) childhood and help a worthy cause.
Don't know why
Norah Jones is giving away free mp3/Real Audio files of a concert she did at the House of Blues in April of 2002.
Made me smile
The fact that someone made an animated gif out of this scene made my day.
Smoke Pot Get Paid
Body For Sale : An Inside Look At Medical Research, Drug Testing, And Organ Transplants And How You Can Profit From Them
If you don't feel like reading a book, the following exchange from The Simpsons may help you decide whether becoming a test subject is right for you.
Barney: I've got a great way to make money. I'm a human guinea pig!
Homer: You mean like.. medical testing?
Barney: Yeah, medical, military, chewin' stuff...
Moe: Chewin stuff?
Barney: Yeal like you chew on a telephone wire till you get a shock.
Moe: Oh, all right, okay.
Homer: Yeah but aren't those experiments dangerous?
Barney: Ah, you get a few side affects.
Moe: Are those ears!?
Barney: Ah! Not so loud!
(Quote from Last Exit to Springfield, where you can find more transcripts and audio files)
Six Million Dollars - Zero fashion sense
Evening has arrived, and Steve makes the most of it. These pants feature a comfortable resting place for one's thumbs, allowing maximum posing potential. The jacket is double-vented to prevent Steve's bionics from overheating on a hot date.
Read more in the latest Bionics Quarterly.
Don't go there
Infiltration.org is the online companion of the paper zine about going places you're not supposed to go.
The segment on getting into the Royal Park Hotel reminds me of sneaking into the Concord Hilton as a teenager. We would slip in through a side door and prowl the floors looking for those little marmalade jars that room service delivers. Then it was onto the roof overlooking the satellite dish where we would open the jars and drop the jam onto the dish from 11 floors up. Good Times.
Get your lab coat
A museum of classic home science experiments, mainly from the 1930's-1960's.
Any site that shows you how to make a pickle glow has to be worth a look.
No Shame
Jessica Lynch Awarded Bronze Star
Purple Heart? Fine, as she was wounded on the battlefield. But not the Bronze Star. Brave soldiers have risked life and limb to earn that medal. It is for "heroic or meritorious achievement or service". Her unit went the wrong way and her vehicle crashed. That's it, certainly nothing heroic about that. The only "service" she provided was keeping the slacking public support for the war propped up with the myth of the blond girl bringin' it to the Iraqi's, guns a blazin'.
But when the 20-year-old supply clerk arrives by Blackhawk helicopter to the embrace of family and friends, media critics say the TV cameras will not show the return of an injured soldier so much as a reality-TV drama co-produced by U.S. government propaganda and credulous reporters.
"It no longer matters in America whether something is true or false. The population has been conditioned to accept anything: sentimental stories, lies, atomic bomb threats," said John MacArthur, the publisher of Harper's magazine
This is complete bullshit designed to keep our leader's war crimes off the front page. The only thing sadder than them offering the phony medal is her accepting it.
I wonder what kind of medal they are gonna give this kid.
Who wants to live forever?
Will medical science advance to the point where our lifespans can be extended indefinately? Brian Kane has some thoughts on the subject.
He also has some remembrances about cartoon lyrics in reference to the site I talked about yesterday.
Back when schools had music programs
A children's choir from British Columbia had their renditions of several pop/rock songs recorded and press to vinyl in the 1970's. A new CD has been created from this. Hear a nine year old sing a heart wrenching version of "Desperado" and a trippy "Space Oddity." I would buy this just to see what "I'm Into Something Good" sounds like. There are short mp3's of several of the songs on the site.
(found at memepool)
Get Your Laugh On
His name is Thorne Peters, but the ladies call him "Kingpin" because of his dominate persona and his mighty scepter. He is incredibly sexy and voraciously sexual and if you are a beautiful lady he will see to it that you fall under his erotic spell . . .
Please let this be some sort of joke.
(found at Ultimate Insult)
If you can find a sturdier stungun, you buy it
- A non-lethal safety product engineered with your safety in mind.
- Stunguns work by sending a high voltage electrical charge through the attackers muscles to disable him from continuing the attack.
- A stungun will never let you down if used properly.
- Stunguns cannot be damaged easily, continual firing into an assailants body will not damage it.
- Since stunguns are a non-lethal weapon it is far more safe to have around children then a gun.
- Real Stopping Power!
- 100,000 Volts
- 4.5" Tall
- Safety Switch
- Wrist Strap
- Detachable Belt Clip
That's right, real stopping power for only $14.00. Buy It Now.
Remember, continual firing into an assailants body will not damage it.
Nice to know that any idiot with twenty bucks can buy a happy meal at McDonalds and still have enough change left over for a weapon.
I can now file this with my knowledge that any idiot with fifty bucks can buy a pizza and still have change left to pilot an aircraft.
I'm doing beards now
She was an acrobat's daughter
She swung by her teeth from a noose
But one matinee her bridgework gave way
And she flew through the air like a goose
From the Looney Tunes Lyrics Archive.
We're Making Heat
Singing Science Records
Not Gay Porn
From the book, "Colon Hygiene" by Kellogg. This is my own scan.
He claims this is a colon massage. Try telling that to your significant other when they walk in on this.
Got Wang?
"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."
No, this isn't slash fiction. Just some guy who substituted wang for wand. Read the rest over at jwz.
Monitor + Hammer = Good Clean Fun!
The illustrated guide to breaking your computer.
Timesaver, my ass!
Norelco Untangler is our featured auction from shopgoodwill.com. Untangle your hair with an electrical device and support the goodwill.
Mad Skillz
The secrets to the tricks that the pen spinners are so proud of. With videos.
If you are looking for something more macho than girly pen twirling, try zippotricks.
Tee Many Martoonis
Drinkboy
Here, you will find a tight knit community of individuals who are dedicated to the �Cuisine de Cocktail�. The art of Mixology is a true craft, one that is far more complex then simply splashing some vodka over a couple of ice cubes and calling it complete. When properly prepared, a cocktail presents itself as a subtle blend of flavors with each of them balancing carefully of the other.
Why?
Septic Tank Writings
Haiku and fiction about septic tanks.
Couldn't be happier
Sprague out
One Whack Jack is history. As I have stated before, I actually watch auto racing for the racing, not the crashes. Jack Sprague has caused a ton of crashes this year and I am so happy that this menace is off the track. Hopefully one of the more desperate teams will not try to "rehab" him. The only bad part about this is that he will probably go back to the Busch or Truck series and cause more trouble. Unless he goes to the 12 team of Terry Bradshaw. They let Kerry Earnhardt go after he crashed yet another car. Even Jack don't drive as bad as "Not Junior."
Lightning in a bottle
Create your own Plasma Globe. Complete with Videos.
This guy is a full blown mad scientist. The rest of the site features high voltage experiments and electro-magnetic weapons.
This used to cost $10
My first calculator (1975)
Weird Science
Galvanic Experiments on the Dead Body of a Criminal
The exploits of nineteenth century scientists with electrical batteries and corpses.
From Beyond
A posthumous interview with Philip K. Dick.
(via slashdot.org)
Squiddly Diddly Rocked!
The Forgotten Characters of Hanna-Barbera.
You will have to whistle instead
Within the city limits of Ottumwa, Iowa, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
Learn more at dumb laws.
For the 12-year old in you
Double Entendre Photo Blog
Thank you
This begins year two of this site. I want to thank the ~50,000 people who have come through here and the 25 of you who have bookmarked the site and visit on a regular basis.
Please take a look through the archives on the right and bask in my greatness.
God Dammit
Steroid Injections Show No Benefit in Sciatica Treatment
I knew that the epidural injections I got before surgery were worthless. My insurance company forced me to get them twice (and pay half) before they would authorize further treatment. I suffered through them and then got the surgery that has made my back feel 500% better. I can go for days without any sciatic or disc related pain. The only constant pain I have now is in the epidural site, about 2 inches above the surgical incision. That hurts like a m-----f-----.
This pisses me off to no end. Why is this barbaric useless procedure being imposed on people in such desperate need for relief that they will consider an injection into their spines?
If you are seeing a physician for your back pain and they recommend these injections, please show them this article.
Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
He may be a Computer Hacker
Pure Fun
I don't watch NASCAR for the crashes. I watch it for the racing. I watch Demolition Derbies for the crashes!
If you are in Southern California, you can see them live at Irwindale Speedway.
Blinky!
From the Custom Simpsons Action Figure Information Station.
(via Wacky Neighbor)
post-menopausal women are crunchier
I just started rereading one of the funniest books ever written, Et Tu, Babe, by Mark Leyner.
I had once intended to write an entire novel while having to urinate very badly. I wanted to see how that need affected the style and tempo of my work. I had found, for instance, that when I'm writing about a character who's in a Ph.D. program and I don't have to urinate badly, I'll have him do a regular three- or four-year program. But if I'm writing a novel and I have to urinate very badly, then I'll push the character through an accelerated Ph.D. program in perhaps only two years, maybe even a year
Patronize your local bookseller and buy any of the quality books produced by Mr. Leyner. In the meantime, you can read a funny short piece by Leyner where he has the Jenny Jones Show discussing serious issues, Alex, The Postmodernist.
Would you like to play a game?
Try your hand at Five-Card Nancy. You can play it in the real world or online.
You take random panels from the old Nancy comic strip and arrange them into new strips. I used to like the randomness of Nancy, so this is right up my alley.
I believe the same process could work with cat and girl.
Always wondered about this
How a pencil is made.
(from grow a brain)
Sci Fi Guy
There are many great sci-fi writers whose work you can no longer find at the Barnes & Noble. One of my favorites is William Tenn. Turns out he is alive, well and has an official web page.
More Arts and Crafts
Learn how to make your own sockmonkey.
Shooting Fish in a Barrel
Raw transcript from the NBC dating show, 'For Love or Money'
I always wondered about the burp/fart connection
The original Facts on Farts.
What ever happened to OK Cola?
Thoughts concerning the Coca-Cola Corporation
The Terrible Secret of Tom and Ray
The callers on Car Talk are auditioned.
Think of the Children
Saving our Children from the Bible
The same site has some good points about how to defend yourself against Fundamentalist Christians.
...in the Old Testament Book of Leviticus, we're told it is wrong for a man to be with another man. However, within the same book we are also told that it is wrong to eat pork. If Fundamentalists use the Leviticus verses, simply ask them when was the last time they had bacon. According to the same Old Testament book that condemns the practice of homosexuality, they would also be condemned to hell for eating a BLT sandwich. However, they would not be committing sin if they still owned slaves, since Leviticus tells us such activity is okay. Think the Fundamentalists will agree with that?
Being in Total Control, Honey
Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)
Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?
Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?
Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?
-From the Heartless Manifesto
Arts and Crafts
Make an easy paper-folded box in 5 minutes !!!
Hubba Hubba
Classic Good Girl & Romance Covers
As long as it's not Street Hoops
Help get games to hospitalized kids! Donate to the Get-Well Gamers Foundation today!
http://www.alphamonkey.net/gwg/
The Get-Well Gamers Foundation: Giving kids a power-up!
If you have some old console games, send them in.
Makes the H2 look like a Mini
What an SUV might look like in the future.
(Found at j-walk)
To Honor America
I am glad to be an American. It means I can celebrate the Fourth of July by watching a stock car race and asking you to read the following sites:
Free Pie
Camp Xray
Skippy
BartCop
They cover news you might not hear everywhere else and they aren't shy about questioning the status quo. Personally, I think that the guy who runs camp xray will be the funniest guy in the camps.
Being an American also means I can express my concern that we might be turning into the Death Star.
Being an American also means that I can also say "Hey America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America"
Beaten to the punch
I have been working on a piece about the history of lawns and how they came to rule the suburbs. I keep putting it aside because I keep getting distracted by shiny objects. Now it is too late for Lenny, as Brian Kane has written a great post about lawns. I highly recommend reading it.
I can add that I found an article discussing "Quiet Mowing". That's right, if you want to mow the lawn at midnight, here is how to go to it without waking the neighbors.
I did recently see an infomercial for the Battery Mower that looked good. I am thinking about sending away for the DVD demo.
Think you are overworked?
Thomas Edison's Patents
(From growabrain.net)
When I was a kid, one of my favorite vacations was to Greenfield Village in Dearborn, Michigan. Henry Ford had recreated the original Menlo Park Laboratory and I wanted to see it. For a ten year old science geek, this was second only to the Smithsonian on my list.
And, because I like saying it, Simpsons did it.
incredibledreams.com
What do all these sites have in common?
freehomepageusa.com
freenakedfun.com
moneyjars.com
godiswatchingus.com
techhelpnow.com
weddinghole.com
bizsuccessideas.com
According to deleteddomains.com, they were painlessly put to rest yesterday.
It must have answered the ad
World's biggest shuttlecock
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i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton
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