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I want to be this good at blogging. I have only managed to read about a quarter of the site and it is fantastic. There is a distinct point of view, a broad selection of subject matter and there is tons of fresh content around the links. I can't stop reading it.
I have a looong way to go.
I know that the anonymous nature of the web makes people do some insane things:
A nurse gets fired because she also has an amateur porn site.
People openly and graphically discuss their colonic cleansings *** warning - site extremely graphic - these people send in pictures of the results!!!!
There are millions of people divulging all sort of things they shouldn't to newsgroups and forums.
But this one beats all:
He will not be getting any for a long time if his wife reads it. Good luck, man!
SHEEP WATCH -- WEEK THREE
Nothing new to report. It still silently stands vigil over the development department.
Week 2
Week 1
asdf is worth 8 points in scrabble.
Thanks for the link wackybrit. If you want to see a real disturbing picture, the one at the top of his blog gives me the willies. Wackybrit, like me, is waiting with baited breath for the release of UT2k3. Everyday he puts up something good, except for that Jewel item yesterday. Don't care for Jewel, myself.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find out how I sign up for the DMA's Do Not Pull Over To Ask Fucking Survey Questions list.
From the discussion at Plastic over this story about how the Florida Highway Patrol is pulling over people to make them take a marketing survey. The survey was committed by the Florida High Speed Rail Authority to gauge public interest in riding a proposed 120 mph bullet train.
Speaking of the kind of idiots who run the rails:
With heart attack victim aboard, T train stops twice
Macdonaldus senex fundum habuit.
e-i-e-i-o.
et in hoc fundo, nonnullas boves domesticas habuit. e-i-e-i-o.
cum moo moo hic,
cum moo moo ibi.
hic una moo, ibi una moo,
ubique una moo moo.
Macdonaldus senex fundum habuit.
e-i-e-i-o.
Pithy Quasi-Latin and
Q. Cur gallina per viam transire maluit?
R. Ut in altera parte viae ambularet.
latin riddles.
Plus, why people who use the phrase:
"Illegitimi Non Carborundum"
are wrong.
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est.
Amount Congress allocated Blue Springs, Missouri, this spring to help the town combat "gothic culture" : $237,437
Miles from Blue Springs to the nearest Gothic cathedral : 4,280
More goodness from the Harper's Index.
To learn more about goth culture, visit religioustolerance.org.
Or, if you just prefer to mock the goths.
Introducing the band
I tried the pyrads system on blogger.com. I got 8,000 impressions free with my blogger pro signup. Based on the results, I am very glad it was free, so I am not pissed off about wasting money.
They did run my ad for 23,000 impressions over 16 hours today, though. I got a whopping 11 clicks (0.04%). Now I will grant you my tag line on the ad was not the greatest ("Commentary presented with laughter and love."), but only 11 clicks! 23,000 impressions has a street value of just under $30. If I am going to pay over $2 per visitor, I at least want people to leave some comments!
I think pyra will have to do some reworking of the pricing structure on this one. Are any of you using the pyrads? Did you have better luck?
Listen to me just hear me out, if I could have your attention
just quieten down for a voice in the crowd.
I get so confused I don't understand
I know you feel the same way you've always wanted to say
but you don't get the chance, just a voice in the crowd.
---"Vigil", Fish
Found this over at Mia's Quotes File.
Sure, you won't like everything, but I will guarantee you will find plenty of signature content here.
Friends don't let friends play banjos.
Banjo Players Anonymous
Banjo: a Vicious Habit
The Choice is yours!
I have a relative who plays banjo. He does not find any of this even remotely funny.
This is why God made the internet:
ThreeWay Action: most embarrasing sexual botch.
I am nowhere near comfortable enough to make a post on a thread like that, but I will say that I have already learned to get the cats out of the room first.
If you have a local TV station that broadcasts on Channel 6, try tuning your radio to 87.7FM. I regularly listen to the Simpsons on a Fox station on my way home from work. Even though I know most episodes by heart, the Simpsons can throw so much at you at one time that you miss things. I now realize how much the audio track contributes to that show, over and above just the dialogue. At lunch, I can also listen to the various Judge shows and the Feud.
"There's nine men ready to get the hell out of here. We need some chew."
I watched the rescue last night on CNN. Once they got the live feed set up from the Rescue Bucket (tm), I knew I was in the for the long haul. When I saw the link above on the Metafilter thread on this, I had to share. I had my first comment in that thread and came away without too much damage.
More news from PA:
Awesome wreck at Pocono this morning:
Right after the wreck, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. (8) jumped from his car and ran over to see if his teammate Steve Park (1) was okay. Watching that live had me transfixed. Dale's dad was killed in a wreck last year and Steve had a nearly career ending crash last year. The urgency of his trek to the upside down 1 car even shut up the announcers for a second. Race is stopped until they can rebuild the guard rail that stopped the cars from going into the infield and killing a lot of people. Both guys walked away unhurt.
They've rebuilt the guard rail, back to racing soon.
Yes, I like to watch cars go around in circles at 200mph. I hope this does not alienate my core audience.
Obligatory redesign message:
I am changing the design. If you have comments, let me know. If you are using Netscape 4.7, I know it doesn't look right.
I am adding links to those who help me do all of this, including Blogger Pro,
Enetation (comments), weblogs and blogsnob. New helpers will be noted in the accomplices bar on the left side of the page.
I'm a TrainedMonkey pressing the right button combinations, sticking the star in the star-hole, the square in the square-hole, and the A in the A-hole (now I realize why there were never letters on those block puzzles for kids).
the A in the A-Hole. God, that is priceless. I'm gonna have that in my head all day. Thanks!
Made it.
Surfing late at night can cause you to click on the wrong link.
I thought I had a stroke for a second.
BBC translates their site into Arabic, Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Welsh.
Man, they sure do use the letter 'y' an awful lot.
Stolen from the fark forum.
This was posted by the same guy who put up the woman on the toilet pic earlier this week. He has redeemed himself.
Best logo in the world.
Order the Poo Devil today!
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul."
Here it is:
RealVideo
Windows Media: 56K | 100K | 300K
This guy claims to have "The Best Page In the Universe." I don't know about that, but this is right on - I am better than your kids
To learn more about the evil that is children, click here:
alt.support.childfree faq
---It takes a village to raise a child.
---------------It takes a child to raze a village.
Metafilter is allowing new users again. There are only 20 lucky newbies a day. The feeding frenzy starts daily at noon pacific time.
I have composed dozens of comments in my mind to the various threads and comments at mefi. I have been witty, erudite and, at times, genius. Now push comes to shove and I have to decide if I am ready to play with the big boys of blogging. I had better get prepared.
Flame-proof suit - check
Position on Israel/Palestinians - check
Learn who ev, meg and matt are - check
Search Mefi before I post - I don't want to read "More comments on this are here, DUMBASS." - check
Search Plastic before I post, just in case it was there first - check
I kid because I care.
From the Avocado Couch
Why is it that nobody, not even die-hard M*A*S*H fans, knows how to spell Hunicutt [sp]? What happened to the easy names, like Trapper? Oh, well.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watched M*A*S*H several times a day as a kid growing up in New Jersey. Channel 29 in Philadelphia and some station in NYC ran it all the time. I used to watch it with my Dad. It was like I was doing a grown up thing watching it. I believe I have seen every episode several times. The only time I see it now is after NASCAR races on F/X. I read that the Hallmark Channel has exclusive rights to it in 2003. They also have the first couple of seasons out on DVD.
Having said all that, I am deeply ashamed at not knowing how to spell BJ's name. For the record, it is:
Captain B.J. Hunnicut
I got the answer here. On this page, Radio Tokyo, you will find a bunch of sound files from the show, including the classic, "Frank Burns Eats Worms." The page covers all the great moments of the show, included one that is making my eyeballs jiggle and water come out...damn
Radar: "I have a message. Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There weren't no survivors."
SHEEP WATCH --- WEEK TWO
There have been no lawyer sightings yet. The sheep is still perched high atop a cubicle wall. When in the break room, you can hear the gentle baa-ing followed by gales of laughter. It was recently demonstrated for, and explained at length to, several high ranking officials of the company. They thought it was hilarious.
I spoke with another refugee from "Corporate America," and we agreed that people would have been fired soooo quickly for talking about sex toys at work, let alone bringing one in and displaying it.
Click Here For Week One of SHEEP WATCH
Theo's wunderbare Welt der Bandfotographie
The first band on this page ("los shakers") must not have realized that it was not a good thing to have three members look like Ringo and a fourth one that looks "differently abled."
A great photo of the best band of the 80's
Atari Baby! I miss my Sigue Sigue Sputnik album.
(From Boing Boing, who got it from Steve Portigal.)
To learn more about TIPS (mentioned below) and other ways the government is taking unfair advantage of the tragic events of 9/11, do yourself a favor and visit free pie.
A short quote from the 7/18 entry:
The war on terror is like the "war on drugs." Not an actual war, but a "war" against an abstraction. These phoney wars serve important purposes -- to distract from the real issues, and to help speed up the slow erosion of civil liberties. And the "war on terror" is so much better than the "war on drugs." After all, who do you know that "experimented with terrorism in college," or "occasionally do some terrorism on the weekends?" Plus, they don't have to catch you "holding" to throw you in jail for the rest of your life.
Go. Everyone loves free pie!
My first link!!! The Avocado Couch says I am among the 'People With Nicer Couches Than Mine'! Thank you.
Nice blog. The M*A*S*H post was really good. I always think of myself as a moderately cool family guy like B.J. Hunicutt (sp?), but I am probably more like Radar...
Dick Armey is opposed to the TIPS program and National Id Cards.
Joseph Biden backs letting soldiers arrest civilians by calling for the amendment of the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878.
Republican making sense. Democrat losing his mind. World spinning out of control.
Google Image search for 'faith in politicians' yields this:
I feel better now.
Lawyers are buying evidence on ebay.
It's impossible to know how many lawyers are plying eBay for evidence, but it's hard to believe anyone spends more time - or money - at this form of discovery than Mark Lanier. The Texas lawyer paid $1,025 recently to win a 47-year-old pack of sealed cigarettes believed to have asbestos filters. The 1955 Kent Micronites might become Exhibit A in litigation he is preparing on behalf of more than 20 clients who have asbestos-related cancer and who smoked the brand.
A grand for a pack of smokes. The only interesting one I could find tonight was a waterlogged pack of Kools for $9.00.
A copy of the naval manual mentioned in the article is going for $250.
(found on fark -- good fark.)
I have rescinded the call of bullsh*t on the fark mods. They resolved the issue to my satisfaction.
Now, I was told by the person who posted the toilet lady that it was okay because it was something we do every day...
It is gonna take me a while to figure out the fark people.
More on the fark situation:
Over at their forum, the mods have removed my post of the finger boys. However, the injustice does not stop there. The entry at 07-22-02 06:34:10 AM, consists of a woman sitting on a toilet in the middle of, well, uh, doing her business.
I call bullsh*t on the fark mods.
In other news:
I hate it when I get calls from work this early. I can never get back to sleep...
Update concerning the amateur proctology pic below, I posted it in the fark forums to see if they could help determine the meaning of it. I was told it was "too disturbing." Too disturbing for fark!!!! An hour before a picture of a guy sitting at his computer naked was posted, but that cartoon is too disturbing.
I really really need to know what is going on here. There appears to be an accepted protocol to those in line, as they all are holding their hands the same. This reminds me of Peanuts cartoons from the 50's, just gone horribly wrong.
The explanation is on this page. But, alas, it is in Japanese. Can any of you help a brother out and translate this?
F--- your Macintosh.
True Porn Clerk Stories
From the descriptions of the patrons to the puzzlement at what people rent, this is some great reading. Several of the observations of box copy are hilarious, such as how they show the most disgusting acts, yet censor the word F*CK. And never never scratch your stomach under your shirt, or you will hear the 'Voice of GOD.'
As a former victim of 'porn trance,' I just kept laughing and laughing while reading this. I will never look at a video store clerk the same way again.
found at memepool.
I am watching American Idol. I can't help myself.
There is a blow up sheep at my office. This is not a normal blow up sheep. It is an adult recreational toy. The person who showed it to me put his finger in the opening in the back and it made sheep sounds. Hilarity ensued.
This thing has hostile workplace environment written all over it, but let's put that aside for a moment. How is a product that is a stand in for bestiality even available? What's next, anatomically correct inflatable children? This is some seriously sick sh*t.
Back to the lawsuit. I am just sitting back and waiting for it to happen. In the meantime, the sheep enjoys an exaulted position in the software development department.
86 TV shows have been cancelled this year.
Maybe I was too hasty in criticizing the jewelry of one of those apple people. Turns out this might be a popular item.
I have found a gold one for only $249.95. You must supply your own chain. Order NOW!
Penny Arcade has summed up my feeling about the Apple Switch campaign.
These people are very annoying. It would seems as though Apple is preaching to the choir on this one. Anyone who looks like these people and talks like these people already has a mac. And what is with the 45 adapter doo-hickey jewelry on this one?
I have been using Windows XP for months, never had a BSOD. Only saw two with w2k. I have helped relatives with macs. I have seen the little bomb icon and had to reboot alot. I don't really see the difference. This is purely a coke and pepsi debate. Except, of course, the pepsi costs twice as much.
Holmes and Yoyo was just named the 33rd worst show ever by TV Guide. For Shame!
Mister T and Tina did not make the list, nor did Providence. I also see no signs of Donny and Marie, Eight is Enough and Sonny and Cher.
And what were they thinking, putting Hogan's Heroes as #5. They know noooooothing.
Rob over at cockeyed.com has added an epilogue to his expose of herbalife. He did a real good job of showing how sleazy this company is. The letters he received from angry herbalife distributors are amazing. Especially the one that says:
You can tell you've never been a herbalife distribuotr, you are making uop the buggest load of crap and putting it on a web site. The normal person can live the life of their dreams through herbalife. I think you may be a little jealous because you cannot!
There is this guy who only has one eye. He goes to a doctor who recommends a glass replacement. The guy cannot afford it, so the doctor fits one made one out of wood. He is really self conscious about it and becomes a bit of a recluse.
One day his friend sets him up on a date. His friend warns him that the girl is a hunchback and is real sensitive about it, so he should not draw attention to it. Knowing how he feels about this wooden eye, he says he understands.
When they meet at a club, he goes up to her and says, "Want to dance?"
She looks really excited and says, "Would I!"
The guy get angry and yells "Hunchback! Hunchback!" then leaves.
A musical selection, courtesy of the good people at epitonic.com.
Mercury Rev - The Dark Is Rising *
The Clean - Stars
The Go-Betweens - The Clock
The Delgados - American Trilogy
The Apples in Stereo - Benefits of Lying With Your Friend
Ashley Park - The Last Train Home
The Clientele - Five Day Morning
*this is a wma file - winamp should play it though.
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i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton
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