|
Announcement
I have set up a Sciatica Forum. Judging from the volume of email that I get and the couple of hundred of you a day that come through here, the need to exchange information about back and leg nerve pain is pretty great.
The goal is to set up a place where those of us in pain can communicate. Please check it out and let me know what you think. Sign up and share your story, give us a piece of health news or recommend a website that helped your pain.
Thank you
Ed has joined the cause. Please help me find out what this character is. As I state in this post, a reward is offered.
What the hell is a fridge pig?
I cannot believe this is real, but I saw it on Discovery Channel, so it must be true. The Fridge Pig has a recordable chip in it that allows you to record a short motivational message. When you open the fridge, you can have it tell you to eat healthy.
Personally, I would buy one and place it it my medicine cabinet. The next nosy SOB who goes "investigating" will get hit with an obscene tirade.
And, according to the ad, if you buy two, you get a third free. That's one for the fridge and both medicine cabinets!
Farts are funny
I was looking for an "Old Fart" hat in my Harriet Carter catalog, but could only find these slippers.
Old Fart Slippers break wind as you walk. They are a gas. Present these sound off slippers to any "fart"unate old timer and get ready for explosive laughter. One size fits all.
An uplifting story
An example from the Paul Smith Typewriter Art Gallery.
Paul Smith has severe cerebral palsy. When typing, Paul uses his left hand to steady his right one. Since he can't press two keys at the same time, he almost always locks the shift key down and makes his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures are based on these characters ...
@ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _
(Found at singlenesia)
Jesus
Over at box office mojo, there is a "crowd reaction" discussion going on. It is where employees of movie theaters and patrons give a ground level report on a major movie. Today's big topic, of course, is The Passion of The Christ.
They also mention some news articles, like the one about the financial planner (!) who bought out 20 screens this morning for $42,000.
And this report from a theater worker:
500 Seater - 99% Full 12:10 - 2 Screens (10:40am was soldout in a 260)
Trailers
Agent Cody Banks 2
Garfield
Eternal Sunshine
The Alamo
Sky Captain
Two Brothers
SpiderMan 2
They are showing the fucking Garfield trailer before a blood and gore fest about Our Lord being tortured and killed?!?!?!
And what do you think about Mel Gibson as auteur? I know this was probably said after he did Hamlet and Braveheart, but who would have thunk this about Mel Gibson when he started? I mean, I am a fan. Payback is just about the most perfect film ever. But, c'mon. If you had been told all of this when he was making Tequila Sunrise, you would have thought it absurd.
Do I see Dwayne Johnson, former WWE wrestler and star of The Rundown, taking home the Best Actor and Director Oscars for his 2009 epic, Can you Smell what the Rock is Cooking?
I think I do.
I love capitalism. Seriously.
True
Real pain dulled in virtual worlds
Fantasy worlds created by virtual reality have been shown to provide a novel form of relief to patients suffering from intractable pain.
The article talks about how burn victims can tolerate the painful process of their dressing being changed when they are wearing VR helmets. I have talked about this in the past using video games as the distraction. Several very immersive games helped me during the most excruciating parts of my recovery.
Battlefield 1942 saves me from at least an hour of screaming nightly. I am so engrossed in the virtual world that I don't notice the back pain.
I had no idea they sold for so much
Dick and Jane Book
A plea for help
(This is staying up until I figure this out...)
***UPDATE****
REWARD OFFERED! An Amazon $10 Gift Certificate to the person who tells me where I can find the sad figurine below.
*************
No link, and that's the problem. Have any of you ever seen this before? It appears to be a screencap from a movie, but I can't be sure. I found it in an old image folder and would like to know where it came from.
Please help! If you know, send an email to blindingnervepain@operamail.com
You had me at "though rare"
After watching the Super Bowl, all of the Daytona Speedweeks coverage and the Rockingham NASCAR race this week, I have come to the conclusion that there is a war for the penis of America.
The combatants are Viagra, Levitra and Cialis. Viagra has had America's boner firmly in it's back pocket for quite some time. But now there are two new kids on the block that want to pump you up.
Levitra has been bombarding the airwaves with Mike Ditka screaming some crap about keeping in the game, like he has. I don't want to think about Mike Ditka's willy. While I am glad that Speedweeks was brought to me by Levitra, I am in no way convinced these spots made anyone want to see their doctor. Well, maybe the "Da Bears" guys.
Cialis, on the other hand, has the promise of four hour wood. They actually toss this off as one of the "bad" side effects. The 36 hour time frame and the happy husbands literally dragging their wives off for some caveman lovin' also are big pluses for these pills. There is a small caveat listed on screen for a couple of seconds letting you know that "multiple attempts per dose" have not been tested. Suggesting that maybe you could test it for them, if it isn't too much trouble.
Viagra, feeling limp with this new competition, has countered with a new campaign featuring suburbanites celebrating to Queen's "We are the Champions." It looks as though the city's water supply has been dosed with the little blue tablets. The entire freaking subdivision is out running and screaming and dancing. Actually, it is just the guys. I guess that the implication is that all of their wives are back inside their homes, recuperating from the fucking of a lifetime. They do throw in one woman at the end, but it seems an afterthought.
The good people at Pfizer do sponsor a race car, so I am going to have to give Viagra the lead, for now. But Cialis is coming up fast.
Of course, if you have erectile dysfunction, but don't want to take medication, you could get one of these.
I don't like The Gap
(Found at Grow A Brain)
minims
You'll get further with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone.
(via bifurcated rivets)
Spiffy
 
Back in the 50's and 60's, books used to have much cooler cover art than today.
making money with blogs
Not even his own staff would call Democratic congressional candidate Ben Chandler a nethead.
"He uses the Internet almost exclusively for fantasy baseball," said campaign spokesman Jason Sauer, who added that he wasn't sure whether, until recently, Chandler even knew what a blog was.
But that was before Chandler's campaign turned a $2,000 investment in blog advertising into over $80,000 in donations in only two weeks. Chandler -- who won a seat in the House of Representatives Tuesday evening -- definitely knows what a blog is now, Sauer said. "It's that thing that brings in money."
Hey blob
Polaroid warns buyers not to 'Shake It'.
...in the "answers" section on the Polaroid Web site, the company says that shaking photos, which once helped them to dry, is not necessary since the modern version of Polaroid film dries behind a clear plastic window.
The image "never touches air, so shaking or waving has no effect," the company said on its site. "In fact, shaking or waving can actually damage the image. Rapid movement during development can cause portions of the film to separate prematurely, or can cause 'blobs' in the picture."
5...5...5...4
wiggum
NASCAR fan, my ass
The idiot president is holding up the start of the Daytona 500. Fucker. A real fan knows when to SIT THE FUCK DOWN.
**UPDATE**
The bandwagonesque monkey boy left halfway through the race. A real fan doesn't do that. On top of that, he missed the ultimate photo op of him with Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who won the 500. Legions of fans of Driver 8 are wondering why he went AWOL. Again.
The NASCAR dads he was trying to kiss up to all thought the same thing when NBC showed Air Force One taking off, "He's just like one of those pussies who leaves the baseball game in the seventh inning to beat traffic."
Why should you be the only one in pain?
Using your sciatica to stop telemarketers.
If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
Bag of Hell
Auction closes soon! SOLD FOR $42.00! Thanks.
After the encouraging news I received from the previous day's posting about not being all that evil, I have decided to persue a more virtuous life. In ridding the evil from my home, I found this thoroughly vile lot of 16 H.P. Lovecraft books and I am disposing of them on ebay.
I did not know this
The house from Sleeper is real.
(Found at the new and improved grow-a-brain.)
but they are so damn cute
(6) Would lemurs make good pets?
In the words of Joao de Souza, who researched the issue:
- In some cities in the USA it is legal to own a lemur, but you will
have some very hard time trying to find one for sale. Pet shops
will NOT carry them, and any reputable zoo or university will NOT
sell you one of theirs.
- Having a lemur as a pet is not at all a good idea. Okay, they are
adorable looking little cretures, but thats when you don't have to
take care of them. First of all, like most primates, lemurs are
VERY strong. They like to run around and to climb onto your
furniture. Unless you have a huge back-yard, and are willing to
transforming it into a cage, the lemur WILL destroy your house.
- Lemurs cannot be house trained (they will defecate wherever they
feel like, and they will pee all over the house in order to mark
the territory). If you try to house train a lemur, it will turn
violent, and you don't want a pissed-off lemur anywere near you.
You may want to try some easier pet (ie: an elephant, a couple of
giraffes, a herd of buffalos, etc... :-)
From the alt.fan.lemurs faq
Tell me more about my eyes
(Found last month at Weekly World News Web Guide.)
Cool
Super Macro Photo of a Poppy Seed Bagel
(Also found by Mr. Hyde)
A valid point
Why does the trash compactor only compact trash sideways? Once ejected into space, wouldn't the flattened, living-room-sized, and extremely solid panes of trash that result from such a primitive, unidirectional trash compactor pose serious hazards for Empire starships in the vicinity?
Read more about what was wrong with the Death Star's Trash Compactor.
(Found by Mr. Hyde at Army of None)
Bag of Hell
After the encouraging news I received from the previous day's posting about not being all that evil, I have decided to persue a more virtuous life. In ridding the evil from my home, I found this thoroughly vile lot of 16 H.P. Lovecraft books and I am disposing of them on ebay.
The porn collection will go on the auction block tomorrow. Or maybe next week. I am still deciding how good I really want to be...
I thought I would be more evil than this
The Gematriculator is a service that uses the infallible methods of Gematria developed by Mr. Ivan Panin to determine how good or evil a web site or a text passage is.
Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel. If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God's number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text. Another important aspect in gematria are the numerical values of letters: A=1, B=2 ... I=9, J=10, K=20 and so on. The Gematriculator uses Finnish alphabet, in which Y is a vowel.
Experts consider the mathematical patterns in the text of the Holy Bible as God's watermark of authenticity. Thus, the Gematriculator provides only results that are absolutely correct.
I was shocked to find that the recent State of the Union address was only 30% evil and not shocked to see that the March 19, 2003 "We have begun the invasion" speech is 65% evil.
Jabberwocky - 35% evil
THE BOOK OF Genesis CHAPTERS 1 AND 2 - 41% evil
US Constitution - 44% evil
US Declaration of Independence - 66% evil
Best Death Ever
An awesome movie review site that gives Die Hard its due.
(Found at Cold Bacon Forum)
Pinball Wizard
They are discussing pinball machines over at metafilter. That got me to thinking about how I had my own full pinball machine when I was a kid.
I really loved playing pinball and my parents were concerned about my safety, since the pinball arcades were full of unsavory characters. Their solution was to buy one for me. There was a little window on the backglass that showed the number of games left. We used to open the back, spin it up to 99 and go to town.
It took some searching, but I found it at al's gameroom.
(Rerun from 8/3/2002)
brilli
Overheard Truth
A good error report is instructive. From Z-Blog
There haven't been more people staring at a boob...Since Bush's State of the Union address. From a slashdot discussion of Tivo and the breast incident.
I think for the sake of my mother who may read this entry, I'd like to say that until today, I knew very little about nipple shields. Flummel tells us all about nipple gizzie.
Calling this an intelligence failure is like Japan calling for probe to investigate the navigation errors that caused the destruction at Pearl Harbor. From a rant by Norwood X at Camp Xray.
What was learned by jwz after playing with linux: Fundamental tactical error made during the execution: Failure to preface all efforts with a rigorous protocol of heavy drinking.
This is the sort of thing that encourages me to give my testicles nightly radiation baths from my microwave and thus ensure that one of these monsters is never thrust upon me. In a post about obnoxious children by wil forbis.
On Cops, whenever they go inside somebody's house, they always have wood paneling. From scrubbles.
Theatre is an inherently stupid artform because the execution of it detracts from rather than contributes to the overall meaning of the work. ColdBacon really hates theatre.
Take The Sorrow and The Pity tour of Southern France! Win two weeks in Northern Africa in The Battle of Algiers Sweepstakes! Relive the exciting experience that is Shoah! The crass marketing of independent films exposed by the Wisdom of the Illiterati.
and finally, the official FAQ for the usenet newsgroup alt.books.kurt-vonnegut has the answer to the question, Where can I find full-text postings of Vonnegut's writings on the Web?
Two companies, Dell and Punam, have taken Vonnegut's full-text stories as they appear on the net, and have printed them out on paper, so that you don't have to stare at your computer screen. They've bound the printed pages into little cardboard covers -- even put artwork on these covers. These printed versions of the fulltext stories are now being sold in various bookstores. You can even borrow them for free at your local library. It's the latest in technology.
I guess it wasn't gibberish
Merlin's Charm of Making deciphered.
(Found at Incoming Signals.)
Something new to listen to
BEYOND THE BEAT GENERATION archives and publishes the entire, long forgotten 'wild' musical gems out of the great years of the sixties (1965-1969) to a bright audience by using today's technology as we call 'Stream Radio'.
We broadcast 24 hours non-stop through the Internet the music formerly known as: Hippie music, Underground, 60's punk, Flower Power, Mod, Free-Form-Freak-out, Garage music, Psychedelia or Teen Beat, the weirdest, the worst, the most powerful and nastiest ever recorded.
So listen to BEYOND THE BEAT GENERATION instead of listening to a "Listen while you work" Clear Channel station that insists on playing something that sounds like Rod Stewart taking a crap.
(Found by an anonymous reader at metafilter)
|
|
|
i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton
|
|
|
