A Blast From the Past
They used to sell this stuff in head shops and in magazine ads.
Bill O'Reilly gets called out.
Image taken from SHOOT! GAME OF THE MONTH.
the man club
13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
The Men Commandments
(Found at presurfer.)
For the next time you are knee deep in snow
Building an igloo is easy and fun. And the igloo is a great place to spend the night on a small 'expedition' in the mountains. Much warmer than a tent, and can be built just about anywhere. Building an igloo will take somewhere between 3 and 6 hours, depending on your previous experience and level of ambition...
Igloo Builders Guide is a small guide on building an igloo.
When you browse around on the web, you find all sorts of random interesting things. Eventually these things will move or disappear. That's why this directory exists.
The Void is where things end up once they've disappeared.
The entire text of Steve Martin's Cruel Shoes is online.
(Found at Wacky Neighbor.)
CLASSIFIED BUYERS' GUIDE OF THE CITY OF KEARNEY (NEBRASKA) 1952
The Buyers' Guide contains the advertisements and business cards of the more progressive business men and firms in the city classified according to lines of business.
Celebrate the Golden Anniversary!
In 1954, it was the world's "first pocket radio."
Aren't they cute?
Get your own Uglydoll.
Make your own Disappearing Ghost Poop.
How to make a plaster cast of your hand.
If you have enjoyed my trailer park in the past, you will probably want to take a gander at The Burford Brothers.
Everything has a name
"Ass Dialing" is something usually achieved by people with very large, very talented asses who wear cell phones on belt clips. When they sit on their phones, random button presses result in random calls all over the world. The recipient of these calls hears nothing but a stream of DTMF button tones and muffled conversation.
(Found in an ask metafilter thread.)
I am so cool
I got one of those new fangled gmail accounts. I will still check my old email address, but please start using the new one listed on the right. Thanks.
"At 7pm cst July 31,2004, let all the people in the world unite as one and simultaneously flush our toilets together.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if everyone in the world flushed there toilets at the same time? Would there be tidal waves? Would rivers overflow their banks? Here is our chance to do a little bit of scientific investigation and see for ourselves."
World Wide Flush 2004
Not a single luxury
"For four rough days I had sailed due east from Samoa in a rusty old vessel called the Manua Tele which I had chartered in Pago Pago. Our destination was Suvarov atoll, a tiny group of islets in a coral reef normally uninhabited but where, it was said, a white man had lived alone for five years.
When I awoke on the fifth morning, the swell had gone, the Manua Tele’s engines were still, and the old tub was rocking gently at anchor. I donned a pair of shorts, picked up a tin of beer and some bananas and went on deck.
Ahead of us the reef thrashed the water in a line stretching for miles; beyond it, drenched in sun, was man’s most elusive dream, a coral island."
From An Island To Oneself, the story of six years on a desert island. The entire text of this fine book is now available online.
(Found by an anonymous reader at metafilter.)
The lightest of the rapid fire pulse cannons, this compact power house turns you from a tank commander into an actual tank. Choose from a range of antipersonnel and armor shredding settings for the variable auto-feed. Repeated firing can damage internal organs so be sure to add a rapid fire recoil vest before hitting the field a one man wrecking crew.
Get one today.
(Copied directly from a PR email.)
We thought they'd never end
Relive Q1 2000
"People who say they are addicted to chocolate or pizza may not be exaggerating, U.S.-based scientists said Tuesday.
A brain scan study of normal, hungry people showed their brains lit up when they saw and smelled their favorite foods in much the same way as the brains of cocaine addicts when they think about their next snort."
"In 1992, Lapre began broadcasting "The Making Money Show with Don Lapre," which promised viewers that they could make money as easily as he had. For several years the show was ranked among the ten most frequently broadcast cable television infomercials. The principal product was Lapre's "Money Making Secrets," a package of booklets, tapes, and commonsense tips for placing ads and operating a 900-number business. The product was sold through New Strategies, whose parent company was Tropical Beaches. Soon after purchasing the package, buyers would be telemarketed by a sales representatives who offered additional psychic, dating, entertainment, and chat 900 lines, plus free Web sites that together could cost hundred or even thousands of dollars. The real income opportunity was minimal, but many customers complained that they didn't even receive what they paid for."
I don't normally do the personal thing here, but this link hit way too close to home.
I worked as one of those sales reps at New Strategies for two weeks back in the mid-90s. I had no problem feeding off the greed of idiots who thought you could get money without working. Lapre figured out the real way to make money was by hiring a room full of young people with no conscience making $10 an hour to telemarket from the sucker list of the people who bought from the infomercial.
These customers paid up to $120 for all the crap you see in the picture. It was real. They got what they paid for. All we did was call them up and offer the chance at more. I was amazed at the number of smart people who readily listened to the 12 minute taped presentation of Don doing his verbal hypnosis and then were begging me to take their credit card.
The sales managers were ruthless. They showed the A-B-C scene from Glengarry Glen Ross to pump us up and weed out the weak. I couldn't take orders fast enough. C'mon, even in 1994, would you have bought a 4 extensions on a 9,999 extension 900#? That's right, if you remember 900# ads, they used to say 900-555-1212 x1234. If you typed in 1234, bob got some money. If you typed 4444, sue got paid. All of this was clearly explained and people kept giving him cash.
I finally quit when my mark was a 70+ year old lady who decided to spend her social security check on these worthless 900 numbers rather than her pills. My supervisor was not amused at my humanity.
Read more about the evil Don Lapre!
(Link found at grow-a-brain.)
I didn't know they still published kerrang
Things I've pushed through toast
(Found at idletype.)
Not a spoon, not a fork
The Slightly Less Than Official Spork Page
Sporks Are Godlike
How to build an electric cello for $450.
They brought it on
Ninety-nine U.S. soldiers have been killed in action this month -- more than the number of U.S. combat deaths in the three-week war that toppled Saddam.
The last time U.S. troops experienced a two-week loss such as this one in Iraq was October 1971, two years before U.S. ground involvement ended in Vietnam.
Our fearless leader said, "Bring them on." We shut down newspapers in Iraq and are threatening to shutdown TV services for inciting violence, shouldn't he be tried for inciting this violence?
We had impeachment proceedings for a blow job and the lie to cover it up. How many US soldiers lives will it take to stop this madman?
Bet you that if Clinton had said something as stupid as "Bring them on", his head would be on a pike.
Pissed off about this? Good. Visit Camp-Xray and free pie to learn more.
Think the leader is doing a good job? go fuck yourself. You are just as responsible as him for killing those kids who just wanted some college money.
I hate that moment on Sunday mornings when you wake up at some guy's house and realize you have to stumble home in the same miniskirt and makeup that looked so sexy the night before, but just looks scary in the cruel light of dawn. And everyone on the subway knows you've got a raging hangover and your underwear is stuffed in your purse. God, let me get married soon, because if I have another one of these mornings, I'm going to slit my wrists.
(Found at memepool.)
A fine book
When Betty and Billy rescued Walter from the pound, they never imagined that such a cute dog was capable of such unpleasant and frequent smells -- Walter passes gas constantly! But just when the dog seems destined to be returned to the pound, a remarkable event turns him into a hero, and his new family learns to live with his smells.
I have been a huge Kotzwinkle fan for a very long time and am pleased to see he is using his awesome powers for good. Jack in the Box, sadly out of print, is my favorite of his adult profane novels.
HEY YOU GUYS!
The Electric Company Digital Archive
(Found at boingboing.)
A model student
Intrigued? Want to finish reading this fine essay? See other examples of a school system that obviously failed one of it's students.
A fine idea
Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop encourages you to print out the above flyer and tape it to the inside doors of bathroom stalls.
It looks like an ordinary old-fashioned cookie tin, but the hidden drawing of two dogs having sex in the grass makes it an instant collectors' item
See your favorite female stars sans hair.
The above picture had to have been a lot of work, given that there was a lot of the background obscured in the original. You will also notice that the "artist" alternates between cueball smooth and 2-day stubble. It is quite disconcerting.
I would hazard a guess that this person repeatedly wore out their copy of Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
(Found at ultimate insult.)
That LJ feed is pure comedy gold
Girls, want a date to prom? No problem...Ask Kyle!
What are you waiting for?!?!
I had a landlord who shopped there
"Until I discovered IKAKA making a property I'd bought for a song legally rentable was a nightmare. Now I have to invest even less time on coining-in from my scummy tenants."
(Found at cynical-c)
They are evil, I tell you
A comic that shows how I feel about chiropractors.
White Ninja is a good comic, but the first few dozen strips weren't that great. After that, though, all gems. Read with an open mind. Not suitable for sensitive folks.
I totally want this house
(Found through scrubbles.)
Want to make the pain go away?
Maybe we can help. Please read our discussion forum.
I have an extra $14. Rather than spend it at the bar, I've decided to try to turn it into $1,000 by April 15, 2005 through fairly low risk investments (i.e. no poker games or lottery tickets). My first goal is $20. What would you do to make $20 from $14?
I'll be your mirror
OMG!!!! The livejournal image feed page is down!!!
See 250 of the latest LJ images.
Someone has posted several questions about dealing with really bad leg pain during pregnancy. If you have any advice, please help out.
I guess it was inevitable
Grease 2 is someone's favorite movie.
Watching a Chick Flick
See many more cute chicks having adventures.
They make that cool sound
I miss my big wheel.
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
Do You Love As Good As You Look?
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Real Country and Western song titles
(Found at The Cartoonist.)
Have a fabulous Easter!
While looking for easter pictures, I came across bunnyears.net.
I had no idea
Join the American Cornhole Association.
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the possible designers of the human body.
"It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
"No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said:
"Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
The last 40 images posted to Live Journal sites. If you are not familiar with Live Journal, it is one of the original online diary sites. What you will see is a mix of cam girls, various "you are a..." quiz pics, funny pics that are making the rounds and the occasional photo that pretty much disqualifies the subject from ever serving on the Supreme Court. Some may be of an adult nature. Click with caution.
(Found through a comment of a comment at jwz.)
Sample pages of Corgi Toys and Dinky Toys brochures.
(Found at the incredibly awesome The Cartoonist.)
What to Do When Your Back Is in Pain
From an FDA article:
"During his 27 years as a hospital corpsman, Richard Mettetal lifted injured people and remained suspended by harness from helicopters for long periods. For the 54-year-old Thurmont, Md., resident, the legacy of those years of public service is chronic back pain that has plagued him since 1984.
"It's been so long now, I can't remember when I didn't feel the pain," Mettetal says. "And I'm so angry that I can't do all that I want because of it."
Work-related back pain is among the most common occupational disorders in the United States, according to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health in Cincinnati, Ohio. Delay in return to work remains an expensive component in the overall cost of back pain for workers' compensation claims, as well, the institute notes. And back pain is responsible for more loss of work time and increased medical expenses related to treatment than any other ailment, says Robert Shields, M.D., an osteopathic physician practicing general medicine in Plano, Texas.
"This is one of the most common problems I see in my medical practice," he says. "Low back pain strikes 8 out of 10 adults at some point in their lives."
If you build your own systems from scratch or are just thinking about adding a next generation video card and dvd burner to your rig, make sure your power supply can handle it with the Power Wattage Calculator.
(Found at Lockergnome)
tiny trippy cars
(Found by an anonymous reader.)
In honor of the new baseball season starting, I give you a rerun from September 20, 2002.
Grant Roberts smoking from a bong as a minor leaguer in 1999.
Valentine, asked about whether any team members had smoked marijuana while in uniform, responded, "I guarantee that no one was in uniform" smoking marijuana.
He added, "When I was playing, smoking marijuana was not the thing that you did when you were playing baseball." Players, he said, didn't smoke marijuana and then "stand up there and try to dodge a 95 mile-an-hour fastball."
He seems real concerned. In the coverage on the sports channels, Valentine looks high.
I guess the real message here is that if you are looking to score some kind bud, you might want to hang around Shea Stadium.
Vorpal. When +1 just won't cut it
The fellows at Something Awful have created ads that will appeal to your D & D character. The first few suck, but they get better. Site has ads that are not safe for work.
The Motherlode, if you are into that sort of thing
Modern Contemporary Design
(Found at memepool.)
How does he turn it on?
This is a computer case. See how he built an Anime Case Mod.
(Found at boingboing.)
Other casemods, like the Underwood Typewriter case, are shown at mini-itx.com. The mini-itx is the platform most commonly used to build these weird machines.
Mama don't take my hydrocodone away
From an AMA editorial:
A government effort to crack down on prescription drug abuse must not exacerbate the undertreatment of chronic pain.
The Bush administration last month unveiled a strategy to fight a frightening escalation in the illegal diversion and misuse of prescription drugs. This is, of course, an essential goal. But policy-makers engaged in this effort must address a fundamental paradox.
While the government estimates that 6.2 million Americans abuse prescription drugs (often opioid painkillers), an untold number of the many millions of Americans who experience chronic pain are undertreated for that pain. Some of the methods used to control drug abuse make physicians fearful of prescribing opioid painkillers for patients who truly need these medications.
That is why any attempt to clamp down on prescription drug abuse must not discourage patients and physicians from appropriately treating chronic pain. The federal initiative can achieve this balance if carried out properly.
President Bush's strategy includes a crackdown on rogue Internet pharmacies selling controlled substances illegally, an increase in the number of state prescription monitoring programs, and wider dissemination of educational and training materials to physicians authorized to prescribe controlled substances.
Have an opinion on this? Discuss in the forum.
Over in the forums, there is a discussion about how your doctor is (or is not) treating your pain. Do you have a horror story about a doctor and your back problem? Did you find one that actually tried to help? Let us know.
Imagine how much fun Fark will have with this
Actresses Mary-Kate, left, and Ashley Olsen get 'Slimed' at Nickelodeon's 17th Annual Kids' Choice Awards Saturday night, April 3, 2004, in Los Angeles.
This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive ring-bearer.
- Do you wear the One Ring when you already have rings on every finger?
- Do you wear the One Ring for no apparent reason?
- Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after wearing the One Ring?
- Do you give too much time and thought to the One Ring?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please continue at Are You A Compulsive Ring-Bearer? And, no, you will not get a cute little graphic for your site.
This is how I learned
"The shower or bathtub is a good place to begin. (By the way, contrary to what you may have been told by family and friends, a healthy person's urine is STERILE as it leaves their body. Once outside the body, airborne bacteria can contaminate it fairly soon, so be sure to rinse the shower or bathtub surfaces with fresh water)
Don't expect to master this skill on your first attempt. After you've practiced a few times, you should see some improvement. (aim for the drain) "
Learn more about how to pee standing up without devices. Site obviously deals with bodily functions. If you are too immature to deal with this, please do not click the link.
(Found by an anonymous reader. Thanks!)
"The story of a three-mannequin American family who has moved to Japan, welcome to the bizarre world of OH! Mikey. First shown on late-night Japanese television called "Vermillion Pleasure Night", this show has spawned a complete DVD collection of its own. Fashionably hip and gut-splitting funny, the Fuccon Family and their circle of friends and acquaintances won't fail to entertain. Once you see The Fuccon Family, you'll love them."
"Sometimes upgrading to a newer version can be a good thing. Other times, your computer may not be compatible with the new version, the new version is bloated, or all the good options are no longer available. OldVersion.com has been supplying the online community with old versions of various programs since 2001. The service is utilized by thousands of users every day and has been featured in newspapers and magazines as well as on radio and television.
OldVersion.com has several objectives. One is to discourage the use of spyware by software companies. Also known as adware, these hidden programs come bundled with certain applications and secretly transmit user information via the Internet to advertisers. A possible way to avoid spyware is to download an old version of a program. By using OldVersion.com, you can get the clean old versions of programs as well as show the industry your dissatisfaction with these types of business practices."
(Found at idletype.)
Still more fine art
Distinctive computer generated illustrations by Jason Brooks.
(Found at plep.)
Now this is proper documentation
Instructions for sweeping the floor from AT&T Bell, 1952.
(Found at Z-Blog.)
I think I had a toy like this
The new first law of real estate: location, location, robot parking garage.
(Found at slashdot.)
more about gmail
I have mirrored the image, just in case it goes away from the original source. As you can see, there are only two ads for a subject that gets eight ads for a search.
They also claim to be able to deal with spam:
Google is committed to keeping unwanted messages out of your inbox. Gmail includes a sophisticated spam filter that we're continuing to improve. The Report Spam link in Gmail is a way for users to help with this effort. It removes spam from the inbox and sends valuable data to the Gmail team working on spam blocking.
I still think they are gonna make a lot of money on the spam that gets through.
(Link to gmail image found at boingboing.)
Over at drudgereport, the proprietor is reporting on the conniption fits privacy advocates are having about the new free Google Email service. From his flash:
LA TIMES reporting on Friday: The Internet search firm insists that it needs to know what's in the e-mails that pass through its system -- so that they can be sprinkled with advertisements Google thinks are relevant. After all, revenue from those targeted ads will pay for the Gmail service, which began a limited test Thursday, offering up to 500 times as much e-mail storage as competing Web e-mail programs from Yahoo Inc. and Microsoft Corp.
The TIMES adds: The electronic letters won't be read by Google employees; computers will handle that chore. Nonetheless, the specter of seeing an ad for an antacid beside a message from a friend complaining about stomach pain is enough to make some people nervous about the e-mail service.
These guys are smart. They will actually be the first company to make money on spam. How? Google will be charging their advertisers to place those text ads based on the words in the emails. Most spams are health or financial service related. This will create a whole new place for those text ads to be shown.
Entering 'viagra', a common term in spam messages, comes up with 8 targeted text ads. Google makes a nice piece of change of those ads, I am sure. Add to that the millions of messages with this term daily and people's propensity to open spam, they stand to make a lot of money with this project.
What I am waiting for is how some of the more innovative people will get around this. I predict that someone will come up with a stock paragraph that you could paste into each one of your emails going to a gmail address. This paragraph would contain enough targeted terms to override the actual content in your email in the eyes of the computer placing the ads.
Your friend complains about stomach pain, but the ad placing program thinks the subject is barn raising. It will be fun for you, a head scratcher for google and a costly prank to the people at barnpros.com.
Just in case you missed it
"Former Assembly Speaker Herb Wesson, D-Culver City, kicks Zhang Xiao Ju between the legs during a demonstration performed by Buddhist monks at the Capitol in Sacramento, Calif., Monday, March 22, 2004. In their first visit to the United States, a group of Shaolin martial artists from SongShan, China demonstrated acrobatic flips and shows of strength among other things. With the monks urging him on, Wesson made several kicks to the monk who showed no emotion. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)"
Make Hot Dogs on your way to work
Cooks up to six hot dogs at one time.
Keep two buns warm at one time.
Three cook settings for the hot dogs,
Steaming, Warming and Both
Very versatile; comes with food and egg tray
Operates on a 12 volt cigarette lighter outlet
Comes with instructions and recipe
Order the Hot Dog to Go.
i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton