The cure for what ails you
This would finally straighten out that Robert Downey, Jr.
The curfew starts tonight
A Washington D.C. police officer hauls a female commuter off her bicycle and drags her along the street early September 27, 2002. The cyclist accidentally turned into a street occupied by IMF protesters. At right, her boyfriend pleads with the officer to release her.
On the radio yesterday, I heard an abc reporter yelling "I am being arrested!" She was released when they realized she was a reporter.
Welcome to John Ashcroft's America.
At least it's not dog
I love me some fried squid. Can't get enough of it.
Can't say I feel the same about spiders.
Found at tastes like burning...
I recently learned that when someone says to me, "You're the man!" I am not supposed to say thank you and walk away. Apparently, I am supposed to reply with "No, YOU are the man!"
Well, what this person has just done is had me deny that I am the man and had me validate their own man like qualities. They initiated this little exchange to force me to praise them. What the fuck is that all about?
I realize that there is a lesser used protocol that will cause the initial person to retort with a resounding "NO, you ARE the man." and then you go out for beers. I have never actually seen this, though.
(Yes, it is another rerun. I am currently caught up in the Asheron's Call 2 beta and UT 2003 and cannot come up with anything new.)
If you have a local TV station that broadcasts on Channel 6, try tuning your radio to 87.7FM. I regularly listen to the Simpsons on a Fox station on my way home from work. Even though I know most episodes by heart, the Simpsons can throw so much at you at one time that you miss things. I now realize how much the audio track contributes to that show, over and above just the dialogue. At lunch, I can also listen to the various Judge shows and the Feud.
Some people will jerk off to anything
Neck Brace Appreciation Klub
Looks like it is time to set up a "Sexy Elbows" site.
Grant Roberts smoking from a bong as a minor leaguer in 1999.
Valentine, asked about whether any team members had smoked marijuana while in uniform, responded, "I guarantee that no one was in uniform" smoking marijuana.
He added, "When I was playing, smoking marijuana was not the thing that you did when you were playing baseball." Players, he said, didn't smoke marijuana and then "stand up there and try to dodge a 95 mile-an-hour fastball."
He seems real concerned. In the coverage on the sports channels, Valentine looks high.
I guess the real message here is that if you are looking to score some kind bud, you might want to hang around Shea Stadium.
It's for your ass
The future of toilet paper
mmm mmm good
The cheese filled snack of NASCAR
Mr. Broadus has watched a parade of younger rappers trade on style and language he pioneered. In Snoop Dogg parlance, for example, "for sure," becomes "fa shizzle." He is now trying to create a new "pimpish" vernacular. One word that Mr. Broadus is trying to popularize is "chuuch," derived from the word "church." It is intended as a
multipurpose affirmation of something good.
The beginning of the end for Mr. Dogg
via obscure store
I am not alone
Brian Kane Online linked an article about Street Light Interference.
I have this happen to me a lot. Nice to know others have seen it.
Such a bargain!
Sybian markets the ultimate sex toy, "Built to provide a lifetime of pleasure."
Here is a picture of what you get for $1300:
It works thusly:
Whenever you want pleasure and for as long as you desire, Sybian is there.
I am familiar with this device from watching one of their, uh, promotional films.
You will imagine my surprise when I watch flipping channels on the tv and saw the OxyPro on HSN:
It looks like a new and improved Sybian. Four attachments, full oscillation. Yeah, it is marketed as an ankle massager. How many women do you think use the Hitachi "Magic Wand" to relieve shoulder pain?
The variable speed option allows you to increase or decrease the speed of the ankle rests with the wired hand-controller. You can choose to have a slower, more relaxing experience or a faster, more energizing experience.
All for only $74.00!
And it has a 275 pound weight limit. Using the recommended position, lying down with your ankles in the device, there is no way you are going to put more than 50 pounds of pressure on this.
We know what it's for.
Blogger keeps eating my archives. When it doesn't eat them, it just covers my page with links to them, over and over.
I paid money for this. Can I have it back?
What is in a name?
When I started this blog, I really wanted the URL to be http://sciatica.blogspot.com. It was taken by a dead site. The only entry is as follows:
This weblog belongs to Justin and Nina. We don't get to chat as much as we'd like to anymore, so in the spirit of continuing our exchange of the totally fascinating details of our lives, this weblog was created on November 11, 2001.
Nothing else. Needless to say, these people suck and should be killed.
I have a new blogroll on my sidebar that lists dead blogs on blogspot. There are a lot of cool names that have not had posts on them in over a year. If you mouse over the links, I have entered the date of the last update. I am only including blogs that are showing more than one year of non-use.
I encourage all of you with blogrolls on your site to create a new one and put up your own list. Maybe this will encourage blogspot to do some cleanup and free up some good names.
I'm not alone cause the TV's on
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday
jimmy eat world, courtesy of epitonic.com
Tales of woe from the Crappiest place on Earth.
ummm, that's good luwak!
The people who buy coffee made from beans culled from the excrement of a jungle cat have way too much money.
Blast from the past
The long lost Get your war on strips
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan.
Looking for something that doesn't involve airplanes crashing?
Al Pacino yelling
Marijuana + Mathematics
Found at Gimboland. There is a lot more goodness over there, including a link to Cusack For President.
Shut up or I will beat you with a rubber hose
Celebrities recall September 11
Gwenyth Paltrow is one of a number of celebrities who have recalled their memories of the September 11 attacks. "I still feel like in a certain regard it just happened," she told Reuters Video News. "It's very difficult to metabolise ...I still find it hard to articulate how I feel about it."
Who talks like this? Besides pretentious Oscar winners, I mean.
Oben geschlossen oder ich schlage Sie mit einem Gummischlauch
Skippy remarked that he accidentally translated his site into French.
I prefer mine in German.
Do you have what it takes?
Think flying a flag isn't enough? Show your patriotism.
Raving loony seeks same
Psychoanalyst May Start Date Service
...a New York psychoanalyst is trying to create a dating service in which men and women would be matched up by people who know them intimately � their therapists.
Me thinks this is a ploy to mess these people up even further. This will create more billable hours for the therapists.
Old folks rejoice. Food and medicine in one package.
Already submitted to Fark
The new Florida Touch Screen Voting System
Found at paxtonland.
Book Rates Grateful Dead Alongside Jazz Greats
It's a fact!
Weird Science Fact File.
Courtesy of the most consistently brilliant website, bifrucated rivets.
What Freedom means to me
From an AP article:
Some of the fundamental changes to Americans' legal rights by the Bush administration and the USA Patriot Act following the terror attacks:
* FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION: Government may monitor religious and political institutions without suspecting criminal activity to assist terror investigation.
* FREEDOM OF INFORMATION: Government has closed once-public immigration hearings, has secretly detained hundreds of people without charges, and has encouraged bureaucrats to resist public records requests.
* FREEDOM OF SPEECH: Government may prosecute librarians or keepers of any other records if they tell anyone that the government subpoenaed information related to a terror investigation.
* RIGHT TO LEGAL REPRESENTATION: Government may monitor federal prison jailhouse conversations between attorneys and clients, and deny lawyers to Americans accused of crimes.
* FREEDOM FROM UNREASONABLE SEARCHES: Government may search and seize Americans' papers and effects without probable cause to assist terror investigation.
* RIGHT TO A SPEEDY AND PUBLIC TRIAL: Government may jail Americans indefinitely without a trial.
* RIGHT TO LIBERTY: Americans may be jailed without being charged or being able to confront witnesses against them.
This has to be a joke, right?
3,000 people die and this happens.
In 1999, these were the Ten Leading Causes of Death in the U.S.:
Heart Disease: 725,192
Cerebrovascular diseases: 167,366
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 124,181
Influenza and pneumonia: 63,730
Alzheimer's disease: 44,536
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis: 35,525
Where is the war on cancer? The war on smoking consists of some ads and increased taxes that aren't even used for health care. If the government was so concerned about our safety, they would make the big numbers on that list go down.
But, no. We must root out the terrorists.
You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.
Can you see that I am serious?
Free sample of Mr. Clean� Season's Freshness Antibacterial Multi-Purpose Cleaner.
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life
During the pre-race show for tonight's NASCAR race, they paid tribute to those who died on 9/11. They played "Peace Train" over the photo montage. The song was a cover, but I was really amazed that they used it. NASCAR gets a bad rap sometimes for the lack of women/minorities in the sport, but to use a song by a guy who now goes by the name Yusuf Islam is pretty good. They understood it was a good song that was appropriate.
On the flip side, you have the pinheads at Wrangler, who are using "Fortunate Son" by CCR in their ads.
As a flag-wavin' all-american song.
I can't really come up with anything better than this. Please read it...
Pair arrested for 9/11 attack plan
Inside the apartment, authorities found a poster of Osama bin Laden, more than 280 pounds of chemicals and five pipes which could have been turned into bombs with the addition of the chemicals, he said. He did not say what kinds of chemicals they were.
The rest of the story shows that these folks were probably not planning an innocent clambake. On the radio today, they kept playing up the "picture of Osama Bin Laden." What does this have to do with this?
Most of us have pictures of Bin Laden. It may be in our 9/11 a rememberance issue of People, or one of the oil/bush/taliban conspiracy books. These don't make us terrorists. But a major news organization leads with the poster before mentioning the chemicals, etc.
Why mention it?
Unless, of course, the poster was signed "Thanks for all of the material support in our terror campaign against the United States. Love, Osama." Then, by all means, hang 'em high.
I would like a new race car set
Topato is back!
Two weeks ago, some dickhead on metafilter announced who was voted off american idol before the show even aired on the west coast.
It was an isolated incident by an amateur. I got over it.
Tonight, MSNBC announced the winner right after the show aired on the east coast. The show had not even started yet out here.
What the f*ck is wrong with these people? This isn't news, it is a freaking tv show. You shouldn't be reporting on it in the first place. But, if you are going to report on it, use your head!
I am not gonna watch MSNBC anymore. Period. You messed up my day.
Best Buy messed up my day last year. I spent several thousand dollars a year there (so my credit card tells me). Haven't spent a dime there since. Circuit City got all my business. I guess I just have to learn to watch CNN again. I really don't like Connie and Larry, but I have to stick to my guns on this one.
Been waiting all week for this, too.
This just about covers it. With the exception of immediate family. And my loyal readers, of course.
Life is just a fantasy
Subject is my favorite album of his.
Seriously, folks. I am not making fun of this man or his album.
You read this blog, you will like this cd.
A ten spot to get a great piece of music.
Looking for love in all the wrong places
Trying to find someone special is hard. I have been lucky. For those of you that are currently looking for a significant other, The Framley Examiner has a stellar personals section.
Music thieves having trouble getting real files.
found on robot wisdom
Operators are standing by
Billy Mays has replaced the guy with the sweater and the british/australian as the king of infomercials.
We use oxy clean and it is great. I am about to buy the ding king. There is a certain hypnotic persuasion in his yelling.
Gotta go, the commercial for Kaboom is on.
Hey, wasn't there a different post here before?
Add midi backing tracks to wav files from a cd dictionary and you have hours of really annoying fun.
I nearly passed out laughing listening to their version of a-ha's "Take on Me."
Thank you. Come Again.
It took five weeks to do it. I got my 1,000th visitor tonight. Thank you to the Canadian who put me over the top at 11:33 Pacific Time.
I don't count my own hits, so this was a solid 1,000.
I am absolutely amazed that people are reading what I write and some are even coming back for more.
Think of the children
I just read a post on another site where the person questioned whether to put up a "tot-finder" decal in their kid's bedroom windows. These decals save lives. The firefighters will know where to go to rescue your kids. This person was concerned about it advertising the kids location to an abductor.
Stranger abduction is extremely rare.
A national study of child abductions found that 200 to 300 children each year are snatched by a nonfamily member in a foul-play situation, said David Finkelhor, one of the authors of the study.
These figures indicate that up to four times as many children die each year in fires.
Get the decal.
Now, if we can just get parents to stop barricading their kids inside their homes, that would help save a couple more lives. Get up to date window guards or quick release security bars.
Update: I did find one fire department that discourages the use of these stickers. So, what the hell do I know, anyway?
It's funny, laugh
I don't like Gray Davis.
Not that I like Bill Simon, either. I just can't find anything to link about him other than the financial scandal stuff everyone else has told you about.
the scales fell from their eyes
Finally, someone is admitting that Minority Report may not be a great movie. The article wimps out in specifying exactly how much the movie really blows and is mostly about how critics can revise their opinions of certain films.
I am a huge PKD fan. I own and have read all of his books, including his straight fiction. I believe he is the best author ever. period. His ideas on how the future would look and feel are proving more spot on every year. When Hewlett Packard started a service that printed out a custom page of news to your printer every morning, I screamed "Homeopape!!!!!"
I knew I was going to marry my wife when I saw she had a shelf of PKD books, including the Sutin biography.
I also have enjoyed Cruise and Speilberg movies in the past.
All of that made watching this piece of crap very difficult.
From the inane choreography of the "computer dance" to the precog tub with the big hole in the bottom, I was disappointed by this.
- Why did they not lock his eyeball access after he ran the first time?
- Why did the eyeball access still work after he was imprisoned?
- Why did the villian suddenly give away crucial info at the end, turning the movie into a bad "Murder, She Wrote" episode?
- What was the drug subplot for? (I do give points for the cool looking delivery system)
- Everyone knew when Leo Crow would be killed. How did he have time to find and kill Crow before the whole of the precrime division?
- Yet another fight scene where Tom fights for five minutes before one of them even gets a scratch (See MI 2)
- With the really high tech computer system, when they had to move information they put it on diskette and put it in another machine in the same room. In 2050, they still use sneaker net????
- They could only track his eyes in public when convenient to the plot.
- The crazy doctor was over the top in his menacing attitude, then delivers just fine. The worst thing Cruise got was a moldy sandwich. Why not throw away the bad sandwich after putting in the good one? They wanted a cheap laugh/groan. I was completely done with the movie after that.
- When he "outwitted" the cops after him, why wasn't he burned by their jet packs?
- I wanted to see more "sick-stick". That was cool.
- The happy ending was complete bullshit. Again, a man as smart as the villian would not totally cave like that unless a really shitty writer and director told him to.
I have been having lots of problems lately with Ann Coulter. When I see her on the teevee, I keep having to restrain myself from throwing heavy objects at the screen. I found a great link over at skippy's that covers the mistakes in Slander, her new book.
It had to happen
i don't need holes through my nipples to be cool.
correlation does not translate into causality
"To say my country, right or wrong, is something no patriot would say except in dire emergency; it is like saying, 'my mother, drunk or sober.'" - G.K. Chesterton